Another place to find me

I have been spending quite a bit of time here lately and usually am there at some point in the day.






http://www.myspace.com/tjt65

Away in more ways than one

Depression is a funny thing, it can grab a person and run with their life and their inspirations. For a year and a half (maybe more) I wasn't sure exactly what I was feeling, only that I'd been hurt and it felt like it was something I could never ever get over.
An issue with a very dear friend had been the straw that broke the camel's back. It was something that I hadn't expected...the inability to get up and move forward. I came to a screeching halt like I'd hit a brick wall and I was unable to turn around and go back because the wall had become unstable and was falling in upon itself and I just happened to be under it.
"No, I'm not depressed. I'm HURT and I will be OK in time. I just have to find myself again. I just have to move forward again and that will come with time." Well, sometimes there comes a point in reality when a person has to realize that they've been through all their body will let them. Health issues, emotional issues, friend issues...it all adds up. The harder I tried to live a life that Christ wanted me to live, (and still does) the farther the ability to communicate and achieve anything became. It even got to the point that I would want to read something and a few words made sense, the rest was just jibberish and I would wish that people could get to the point and quit rambling on with all their nonsense...little did I realize it was depression's grip holding my brain hostage.
I had enough depression to sink a battleship and didn't even know that's what was causing all the trouble. Well, not all of it. There was the muscle pain from the Fibromyalgia and there was also some Chronic Fatigue that I had to deal with every day as well and still do.
I think I was overloaded with health issues beyond my control and life in general.
Thank goodness I have a doctor that saw something worth saving or I probably would just lay down and die!
I have so many new things to tell and one of them is that both my sons have very serious girlfriends now. They are dear girls and I think it's going to be a wonderful thing.
Now, I am just trying to recover from my being gone in mind and life in general. I think I'll always have some of it to deal with but it's going to be better.
My doctor injected muscles across my shoulders and neck that had been spasming since I first got Fibromyalgia with an anti-inflammatory drug and the very next morning I woke up with less depression than I'd had for years. He also gave me an anti-depressant to take and I have seen some of the old me come back but I still feel it's far, far from who I used to be. I wonder if it's possible to ever find what I was before I became ill?
Well, when it matters I will talk about it. Right now, I just want to return.